Marriage preparation is a unique opportunity for evangelization and community building. Young adults who have been away from the church for a long time often return to get married alongside other couples whose faith has been important to them for some time. During this sacred time of preparation, they may be open to hearing the gospel and building friendships in a new way.
When designing marriage prep events for engaged couples, don’t be afraid to “waste time” together. Give young adults an opportunity to get to know each other and the leaders on a personal level before diving into the essential content of marriage prep. This could look like hosting an initial orientation meeting that is purely social, or spending the first 30-45 minutes of each meeting in fellowship. Beer and wine, coffee and seltzer, and dinner or snacks can go a long way in making marriage prep something that young adults look forward to. More importantly, genuine fellowship, thoughtful hospitality, and a sincere ministry of presence will help young adults to feel welcome and open to receiving the wisdom that clergy and mentor couples want to share.
Creating an environment of fellowship, hospitality, and presence will also involve intentionally getting to know the engaged couples. At this moment in their lives, it is worthwhile to ask them why they are choosing to get married in the Church. Their answers to this question can help you better serve them throughout the marriage preparation process and beyond. Knowing more about their relationships with God and the Church, both as individuals and as a couple, will help you connect them with other couples who have similar stories and invite them to young adult events they might enjoy while they are still preparing for marriage.
Above all, it is important that the relationships you are building with these young adults are authentic. Demonstrate curiosity and concern for them as people, not just as numbers who can help your events seem more successful. This does not have to be complicated! Simply say hello after Mass or reach out via text or email to see how they are doing without an ulterior motive, just like you would with any other acquaintance or friend. These small touchpoints can help young adults feel connected to the larger community, especially at a time when many elements of their lives are in flux.
After their wedding day, continue to stay in touch with these young adults and invite them to ministry events. Whether it is a young adult pilgrimage, a family-style dinner, or a speaker series, make sure the young adults know that their presence, participation, and perspectives are welcome and appreciated at these events.
Finally, if your parish or organization does not already have a program of ongoing formation for married couples, consider bringing that to the attention of your leadership team. Marriage is a vocation and married couples deserve to be invested in for the duration of their lifelong commitment, not just in preparation for their wedding day.
